he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is my gift to your gina
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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