I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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