he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
