Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
