Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
