I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
