Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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