i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
