i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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