tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
