you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
