Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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