Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
