i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
