Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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