If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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