K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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