I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
