As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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