When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Life is so much better after having sex.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
