First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
