I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
