You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
