my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
