The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
