If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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