But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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