She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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