we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
did i just pee glitter
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
