I heard we made out
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
