Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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