I'm eating all of the evidence.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
