He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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