I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
