similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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