I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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