brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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