So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
