I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
