did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fill condoms, not promises.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
