Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
