You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize