Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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