Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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