If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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