Sponge bath it is.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
