what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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