This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
