is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
