I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
