I smell stomach acid.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
