Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
